Wide Boyz Blog

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Ondra, Wide Cracks and the Next Generation

Yesterday I had a dream. A very strange dream….

Three people came together that must never come together – if they do it could be the end of everything as we know it. Somehow my mind created the potential lethal combination of a sport uber-wad, internet media mogul and wide crack punter. All fighting over one project. 

Phone rings…..

[Me] “Hello?”

[Mick Ryan] “Tom, glad to have got through to you. I’ve got something very special for you boys. You and Pete are going to love this.”

[Me] “Oh yeah? This sounds good….”

[Mick Ryan] “I’ve got this project to hand over to you. Apparently Adam Ondra has found this wide crack project in the Czech Republic and he’s been utterly shut down by it. It’s supposed to be 7 inches of limestone beauty and Adam hasn’t got a clue how to Tickle a Trout or Greek Stack”

[Me] What?! No…. you’re kidding….. this can’t be true Mick. How can this happen? Ok…. Hang on a second. I’ll ring Pete, get some flights booked and we’re on it.”

“Tom……… Tom…………. TOM!!”

Oh dear. It’s all a dream and my wife has just woken me from an afternoon nap. No Ondra, no Mick Ryan from UKC and no limestone project. I think about this for a second and then start to chuckle to myself. How on earth did my mind come up with this scenario? Ondra on wide cracks? Not a chance!!

Clearly though, as I’m an old codger (well, relative to Ondra) there needs to be a new entrant into the wide crack scene. Most of us offwidth aficionados are over 30 (Pete makes a significant break from the trend on this), male and think knee patches are the practical option and not a fashion statement. Fortunately there could be a new kid in town….

My wife and I were lucky enough to be bundled a little sack of joy, tears and soggy nappies last month. We’ve named her Hannah Sofia (I wasn’t allowed the Pamela/Handstack/Offwidthina/Lucille options on names) and she’s already proved to be quite feisty! I’m not sure that she ever will partake in the obsession that bothers her Dad so much, but if she ever does want to sneak down to the cellar to learn some butterfly jams I’ll be the first to point her in the opposite direction. Tennis is much more sensible!


  1. Thank goodness for the sanity of your wife and a big congratulations.

    I have more details Tom. Not just 7 inches, but smooth and flared, 20 m long....at Moravský kras, although Adam swore me to secrecy as to the exact location as your and Pete's reputation for Wide Love goes before you.

    Expect another dream tonight.

    Talking of dreams after my look at Emerald and Sentinel at Chatsworth Saturday afternoon I went for a boulder at the crackless Sean's Roof. That night I awoke, or thought I did in the early hours with a throbbing A2 pulley injury. The pain was excruciating.

    I awoke in the morning to no pain at all.

    It had all been a nightmare!!!!!! a climbers' worse.


  2. Congratulations. Shame about Ondra. I once had a dream he went to Tintwistle...

  3. Thank heavens for the mental soundness of your better half and a major congrats.
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